Tag Archives: self-help

Review: On Becoming Fearless

fearlessRecap: A few weeks ago, I was about to embark on a new journey and decided  Arianna Huffington’s book On Becoming Fearless was the perfect book for that moment. I was scared. I was about to start a new job in a new city more than 1,000 miles away from home. I was moving up professionally, and I was overcome with anxiety. I wasn’t sleeping well, eating well,  exercising much. Quite frankly, I fell out of my routine. I thought now’s the time to work on becoming fearless.

Huffington’s book is part memoir, part self-help (mostly self-help). It’s similar in structure to Sheryl Sandberg’s Option B in that way, except Huffington’s book didn’t stem from a single traumatic event, but from a series of events and lessons learned over the course of her life. Certain moments in her past have made Huffington a somewhat controversial figure; she is disliked by many, but at the end of the day she is an incredibly successful woman. Typically a woman doesn’t achieve status like hers without going through her fair share of hardship. She uses that in this book as a force for education, so we may learn how to be fearless about our bodies, fearless in love, in parenting, at work, about money, about aging and illness and death, about leadership and speaking out, about changing the world.

In between chapters, there are sprinklings of stories written by other successful women and the lessons they’ve learned on each of these topics.

Analysis: As I expected, it was exactly the kind of book I needed in that moment. I enjoyed the stories, which made their case for the lessons they tried to prove. But unfortunately, having read it only about a month ago now, I can’t recall many specific pieces of advice that Huffington delivers. Yes, there are the obvious things: sleep more, meditate, eat better, exercise — essentially take care of yourself because your mind and body will both thank you. But some of the tactics for remaining fearless have escaped my mind. But maybe that’s really all it is: the mind. Having the right mindset, the right attitude.

Fundamentally geared more toward women, the book makes the case for “owning” whatever it is you’re battling or going through. Recognizing your worth and daring to prove it to others — or better yet, yourself. There are sections I read that don’t yet apply to me. For instance, the chapter about motherhood. I found it interesting, but know there will come a time in my life several years down the when I’ll have a strong desire to re-read this book and remind myself of the mindset of becoming fearless. Because what do we have to lose? If there’s anyone who’s fearless, it’s Arianna Huffington and like her or not, we could all stand to learn something from her about becoming fearless.

Get On Becoming Fearless in paperback now for $11.94.

Or on your Kindle for $9.99.

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Review: Option B

417t2blcp9rl-_sx292_bo1204203200_Recap: Grief is no easy thing and like addiction, it is not something people can “overcome.” It’s something that simply becomes a part of our lives forever, and we are tasked with learning to manage it. If anyone knows about grief, it’s Facebook COO Sheryl Sandberg who several years ago lost her husband suddenly. He died from heart-related problems at the age of 47 while working out at the gym.

Sheryl feared not only that she would never get over his death but that her children would never be happy again.  She turned to friends, family and experts to help her work through her grief. Along the way, she became close with psychologist, author and University of Pennsylvania professor Adam Grant, who helped her co-write Option B: Facing Adversity, Building Resilience, and Finding Joy. As she writes in her book, “Option A (having her husband) is not available. So let’s just kick the shit out of Option B.”

Speaking to Grant and other psychologists, she writes about many theories that helped me to better understand why some of us make grief harder for ourselves than others. For instance, Sandberg talks about “The Three P’s: personalization, pervasiveness and permanence. The goal is to avoid the three P’s; avoid thinking this situation is all your fault, avoid thinking this will affect every part of your life and avoid thinking you will always feel this way.

Analysis: Sandberg’s Option B works in a way that many other self-help books don’t in that she offers concrete, easy-to-employ tactics for dealing with not only grief, but any kind of loss: unemployment (loss of job), divorce (loss of marriage), etc. They’re easy to put into everyday use, like stop saying “I’m sorry,” allow yourself cry breaks, do good deeds for other people, find ways of honoring the person you’re grieving so they don’t feel forgotten and talk about them with others, including co-workers.

She does this while still offering the same theories, analysis and results of psychological studies that other self-help books might also include. But she also tells short stories about people all over the country who have gone through horrific, life-changing events and overcome them. These real-life stories work as great examples for some of the psychological theories that we may not otherwise understand because of therapist jargon. They also worked for me as examples of people who have been forced to work through situations much more severe than mine. The thought process becomes: if they can get through that, I can certainly get through this.

I’d been wanting to read this book for so long after the death of my father, and while I (thankfully) found I had already employed some of these tactics into my own life to help deal with my grief, I also found this book helped me to better understand grief in general and understand why I’m still having trouble working past certain aspects of my grief. As Sandberg explains, grief is not considered to be a linear process, and it’s different for everyone. I have accepted my Option B. Thank you, Sheryl, for showing me what I need to do now to kick the shit out of it.

Get Option B in hardcover for $7.83. 

Or get it on your Kindle for $13.99.

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Ivanka Trump Promoting Her Book Solely on Social Media

51kauwy0hjl-_sx329_bo1204203200_Ivanka Trump’s book Women Who Work is not the first book she’s written and promoted, but it is the first book she’s written and only been allowed to promote in one place: social media.

According to The New York Times, Trump promised not to promote her career advice book for women through a tour or media appearances. According to a spokeswomen, Trump consulted with the Office of Government Ethics. Because it would be “unethical” to promote something for her own “private gain” in her now public service capacity (as an official, but unpaid government employee in the White House), she can’t promote the book the way an author normally would.

So she’s sticking to social media, taking to Facebook and Instagram to plug the book.

Meanwhile, according to Entertainment Weekly, the book itself is not garnering particularly good reviews.

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Ballerina Misty Copeland Releases Book

misty-copeland-book-cover-largeMisty Copeland is the first black female ballerina to be named a principal dancer by the American Ballet Theatre. Now she’s adding “author” to her resume.

Copeland has released a new book entitled Ballerina Body, focusing on both the physical and mental strength it takes to better your body in the best way possible. She stresses that it’s not a “dieting” book, instead saying “For me, it was just getting myself into the best shape that it could, but understanding that it’s OK to be different. If you’re talented and gifted enough, it doesn’t matter what you look like.”

It sounds like a mix of self-help, cookbook and memoir. The book includes inspirational words of encouragement, exercises, recipes, and her “secrets” to being strong mentally and physically.

It’s so important for a woman in her position to write a book like this, to inspire girls to care for their bodies the healthy way instead of starving themselves unhealthily, not to mention the volumes it speaks for black girls who may not have ever envisioned a future like Misty Copeland’s.

Get Ballerina Body in hardcover now for $15.59. 

Or on your Kindle for $15.99.

 

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‘Dance Moms’ 13-Year-Old Star To Pen Memoir, Fiction Trilogy

maddie-ziegler-435Some people spend their entire lives writing to pen the perfect book. For Maddie Zeigler, it only took 13  years. But wait. That is her entire life considering the Dance Moms star is just 13  years old.

According to Entertainment Weekly, Zeigler is working on writing both a memoir and a YA trilogy about dance for Gallery Books and Aladdin Books. The Maddie Diaries will reflect on her years starring the Lifetime reality TV show Dance Moms. It will also include advice and lessons for teens and dancers. It’s set to be released in March of 2017.

Her fiction novels will also be about — you guessed it! — young dancers. The novels are set to be released in the Fall 2017, Fall 2018 and Fall 2019.

IMHO, there will always be a market for people who want to read about dancers — whether it’s young people who dream of being professional dancers or those — like me — who used to dance and feel a sense of nostalgia when they read books about it (see Astonish Me).

Zeigler is a famous dancer, best known for Dance Moms and for playing mini-Sia in many of popstar Sia’s music videos and performances. Currently Zeigler is a judge on the kids version of So You Think You Can Dance.

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Review: Year of Yes

year-of-yes-9781476777092_hr-476Recap: When Grey’s Anatomy/ Scandal/ How to Get Away With Murder writer/ creator/ producer/ extraordinaire Shonda Rhimes realized she said “no” a lot, she decided something needed to change. Her sister had pointed out to her during Thanksgiving a few years ago that Shonda Rhimes, the woman who runs ABC’s Thursday night TV show lineup, may have been saying “yes” to more work and more amazing shows — and for that, we are forever grateful — but she wasn’t doing much for herself or her children. When she came to this shocking revelation, she decided that for one year, she would say “yes” to anything and everything that scared her.

And she so wonderfully documented it all for us. She said “yes” to attending events and giving speeches that she would normally turn down without hesitation. She said “yes” to watching what she ate and taking care of her health for the first time in years — and lost a ton of weight doing it. She said “yes” to doing what she wanted, even if that meant losing some friends along the way and ending a relationship. She said “yes” to playing with her children more often. She said “yes” to getting help from a nanny. And then she said “yes” to putting it in a book so we could learn the ways of her almighty awesomeness and badassery.

Analysis: My telling you many of the things Shonda Rhimes said “yes” to does not ruin the book in any way because this book is about so much more than saying “yes” to your fears. It’s about finding yourself and growing up, even when you think you already have. Year of Yes is a unique combination of memoir and self-help book that not only inspires, but energizes. I learned so much about Shonda Rhimes’ life and world, including all the fun details and anecdotes I’d hope for from any memoir. She writes a lot about her family, her career, and her kinship with the character she created, Christina Yang. But I also found that I had some of the same fears as Rhimes does, the same fears that many women have.

This book taught me how to take a compliment (because I deserve it!), and it taught me that difficult conversations are important to have, even if you think you might lose a friend (he/she probably wasn’t a very good one anyway!). I gained a new outlook and perspective from this book. And what’s better: it’s written in the very way Rhimes writes her TV shows. It felt familiar. Rhimes felt like my friend. It was like I could hear Ellen Pompeo as Meredith Grey or Kerry Washington as Olivia Pope saying certain sections of the book out loud. It became clear to me how much of Rhimes’ personality comes out in her TV characters, so it was nice, for once, to see her come out of her shell through this book instead of hiding behind one of her characters.

MVP:  Shonda Rhimes. Publishing a book like is courageous. I couldn’t help but think of all the formerly close friends of hers buying this book and reading the sections about them. Putting it all out there is a scary thing. It is the ultimate “yes,” and Rhimes astounded me by doing it.

Get Year of Yes in paperback for $8.46.

Or get it on your Kindle for $12.99.

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Oprah Penning New Book

After having co-authored five books and writing a monthly column in her own magazine, Oprah Winfrey is coming out with a new book.

According to The New York TimesWinfrey has written a book about life — its struggles and inspirations. Called What I Know For Sure, the book is named after and adapted from the column Winfrey writes in her monthly O, The Oprah Magazine.

The book is being marketed as a self-help book meant to “guide” people to become “their best selves.”

What I Know for Sure is due out in September, and will be published by Flatiron Books, a new nonfiction imprint of Macmillan.

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