Tag Archives: self-help

Review: You Are A Badass

badassI had recently started a new job, hit the one year anniversary of my father’s death and was about to turn 30. There were so many things running through my mind, so much doubt, so much negative self-speak, so much worry about the future, reflecting on the past and wondering if I was meeting my proper potential in the present. It was the perfect time to finally read the highly recommended You Are A Badass. And I’m so glad I did.

Author Jen Sincero uses this self-help guide to not only get to realize your self-worth and gain confidence, but as an instructional aide explaining why we are the way we are. She explains that “faking it til we make it” just won’t work. If your subconscious doesn’t truly believe what you’re telling yourself to believe, then it will never come. So in order to achieve your dreams, gain confidence and find your inner badass, you have to start from the inside out. She gives both concrete active doable examples and more philosophical abstract ways to think about things to get you to love yourself, figure out what your dreams are, work toward them without self-doubt and realize your awesome potential. Meditation, time management, gratitude, offering kindness to others, pushing away fear — all of these are very doable things once we decide we’re going to do it.

But my biggest takeaway from the book (by far) is the concept that what you put out in the world will bounce back to you. If you are negative all the time, you’re only going to experience negative things. But if you are positive and put those positive vibes out there, believe you’re going to have good days and accomplish your goals, then you will. The universe will hear you.

Does all this sound hokey? Sure. It probably does. But the fact is Sincero believes so strongly in these ideas and is so passionate about them throughout this book, that it’s hard not to hop on board and believe it.

Shortly after I read this book, my husband and I were shopping and stopped in an art gallery. I saw a painting that I thought was really pretty, so I told my husband “look how beautiful that one is.” Then I heard a man behind me say “you just made my day. I’m the artist.” He then went on to show us some of his other work that was displayed in the gallery. To be nice, my husband and I started looking through the pieces and unexpectedly stumbled across the perfect painting and gift for my newborn niece. The artist then offered to sign the back of the piece for us and wrote a very sweet note for my niece. I firmly believe that if I hadn’t put the positive vibes out there and complimented this man’s work (without even knowing he was in the gallery), he wouldn’t have shown us his other work, we wouldn’t have found the piece, he wouldn’t have signed it and my niece wouldn’t be getting a beautiful gift out of it.

You Are A Badass is not just any self-help book. It is a perspective-shifting book. It has reshaped the way I view the world and my attitude. Whenever I find myself in a low place, this will be the book I turn to.

Get You Are A Badass in paperback now for $9.59.

Or get it on your Kindle for $9.99.

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Review: 10% Happier

10 happierRecap: When ABC News anchor and correspondent Dan Harris was in his 30’s, he had his first on-air implosion: a panic attack on national television in the middle of a report. Did he handle it well? Of course. Like a pro. But it was clearly something had happened. It was only after that that he finally started seeing a therapist and learned his increasingly frequent panic attacks were a result of his cocaine addiction, a habit he picked up while covering the war in the Middle East.

TV reporting is no joke, folks. Harris knew he needed to make some massive changes. In this part memoir, part self-help book, Harris brilliantly and beautifully documents his long, dubious path out of his own darkness and into a space that’s at least 10% brighter. Harris tells the story of his downfall and his unexpected spiritual journey that led him to meditation. A skeptic, as many journalists are, Harris needed to understand meditation from all angles before he truly jumped in. In time, he has become a huge proponent of the practice. Being more mindful, he says, has helped him become a more relaxed, focused, less stressed, more loving person.

Analysis: This book had come highly recommended for years. But it wasn’t until about a year-and-a-half ago that I stumbled upon meditation itself. In sifting through and trying various meditation apps, the one I happened to like best was the 10% Happier app. Its guided meditations were the easiest to understand. They cut through the BS and gave it to me straight. They made me understand the purpose, point, goals and benefits of meditation. I was not surprised to learn that it was connected to the 10% Happier book, just surprised to realize the book had developed into the world of podcasting and apps. The more Dan Harris talked about his experience with meditation in the app and podcast, the more I knew I had to read the book.

Basically — everyone was right; this is one of the best nonfiction books I’ve read in the last year (and I have read a LOT). Harris’s story of ups and down in his personal and professional life were of course very relatable to me since I, too, am a TV reporter. But more than that, it’s his self-doubt, self-loathing and temper I related to most. I often shouted while I was reading this “He’s me! I’m the female version of Dan Harris!” I feel grateful that he did so much of the meditation and Buddhist homework for me, talking to various teachers and getting a plethora of insights.

It was hard to put this book down. Having written his second book, Harris often says he hoped that his first book (this one, 10% Happier) would make the case for meditation and was surprised to find that for most of his readers, it didn’t. I, however, found that it did. His spiritual awakening is inspiring and something I think we all could use a lot of these days. It doesn’t hurt that he’s a reporter professionally so his writing is obviously fabulous — leaving little tease-worthy bread crumbs at the end of each chapter. I find myself going back to his book frequently, reminding myself of some of his methods so that I, too, can become 10% happier. Because every little bit counts. And isn’t that what it’s all about on this journey to betterment?

Get 10% Happier now in paperback for $13.25. 

Or get it on your Kindle for $11.99.

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Review: On Becoming Fearless

fearlessRecap: A few weeks ago, I was about to embark on a new journey and decided  Arianna Huffington’s book On Becoming Fearless was the perfect book for that moment. I was scared. I was about to start a new job in a new city more than 1,000 miles away from home. I was moving up professionally, and I was overcome with anxiety. I wasn’t sleeping well, eating well,  exercising much. Quite frankly, I fell out of my routine. I thought now’s the time to work on becoming fearless.

Huffington’s book is part memoir, part self-help (mostly self-help). It’s similar in structure to Sheryl Sandberg’s Option B in that way, except Huffington’s book didn’t stem from a single traumatic event, but from a series of events and lessons learned over the course of her life. Certain moments in her past have made Huffington a somewhat controversial figure; she is disliked by many, but at the end of the day she is an incredibly successful woman. Typically a woman doesn’t achieve status like hers without going through her fair share of hardship. She uses that in this book as a force for education, so we may learn how to be fearless about our bodies, fearless in love, in parenting, at work, about money, about aging and illness and death, about leadership and speaking out, about changing the world.

In between chapters, there are sprinklings of stories written by other successful women and the lessons they’ve learned on each of these topics.

Analysis: As I expected, it was exactly the kind of book I needed in that moment. I enjoyed the stories, which made their case for the lessons they tried to prove. But unfortunately, having read it only about a month ago now, I can’t recall many specific pieces of advice that Huffington delivers. Yes, there are the obvious things: sleep more, meditate, eat better, exercise — essentially take care of yourself because your mind and body will both thank you. But some of the tactics for remaining fearless have escaped my mind. But maybe that’s really all it is: the mind. Having the right mindset, the right attitude.

Fundamentally geared more toward women, the book makes the case for “owning” whatever it is you’re battling or going through. Recognizing your worth and daring to prove it to others — or better yet, yourself. There are sections I read that don’t yet apply to me. For instance, the chapter about motherhood. I found it interesting, but know there will come a time in my life several years down the when I’ll have a strong desire to re-read this book and remind myself of the mindset of becoming fearless. Because what do we have to lose? If there’s anyone who’s fearless, it’s Arianna Huffington and like her or not, we could all stand to learn something from her about becoming fearless.

Get On Becoming Fearless in paperback now for $11.94.

Or on your Kindle for $9.99.

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Review: Option B

417t2blcp9rl-_sx292_bo1204203200_Recap: Grief is no easy thing and like addiction, it is not something people can “overcome.” It’s something that simply becomes a part of our lives forever, and we are tasked with learning to manage it. If anyone knows about grief, it’s Facebook COO Sheryl Sandberg who several years ago lost her husband suddenly. He died from heart-related problems at the age of 47 while working out at the gym.

Sheryl feared not only that she would never get over his death but that her children would never be happy again.  She turned to friends, family and experts to help her work through her grief. Along the way, she became close with psychologist, author and University of Pennsylvania professor Adam Grant, who helped her co-write Option B: Facing Adversity, Building Resilience, and Finding Joy. As she writes in her book, “Option A (having her husband) is not available. So let’s just kick the shit out of Option B.”

Speaking to Grant and other psychologists, she writes about many theories that helped me to better understand why some of us make grief harder for ourselves than others. For instance, Sandberg talks about “The Three P’s: personalization, pervasiveness and permanence. The goal is to avoid the three P’s; avoid thinking this situation is all your fault, avoid thinking this will affect every part of your life and avoid thinking you will always feel this way.

Analysis: Sandberg’s Option B works in a way that many other self-help books don’t in that she offers concrete, easy-to-employ tactics for dealing with not only grief, but any kind of loss: unemployment (loss of job), divorce (loss of marriage), etc. They’re easy to put into everyday use, like stop saying “I’m sorry,” allow yourself cry breaks, do good deeds for other people, find ways of honoring the person you’re grieving so they don’t feel forgotten and talk about them with others, including co-workers.

She does this while still offering the same theories, analysis and results of psychological studies that other self-help books might also include. But she also tells short stories about people all over the country who have gone through horrific, life-changing events and overcome them. These real-life stories work as great examples for some of the psychological theories that we may not otherwise understand because of therapist jargon. They also worked for me as examples of people who have been forced to work through situations much more severe than mine. The thought process becomes: if they can get through that, I can certainly get through this.

I’d been wanting to read this book for so long after the death of my father, and while I (thankfully) found I had already employed some of these tactics into my own life to help deal with my grief, I also found this book helped me to better understand grief in general and understand why I’m still having trouble working past certain aspects of my grief. As Sandberg explains, grief is not considered to be a linear process, and it’s different for everyone. I have accepted my Option B. Thank you, Sheryl, for showing me what I need to do now to kick the shit out of it.

Get Option B in hardcover for $7.83. 

Or get it on your Kindle for $13.99.

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Ivanka Trump Promoting Her Book Solely on Social Media

51kauwy0hjl-_sx329_bo1204203200_Ivanka Trump’s book Women Who Work is not the first book she’s written and promoted, but it is the first book she’s written and only been allowed to promote in one place: social media.

According to The New York Times, Trump promised not to promote her career advice book for women through a tour or media appearances. According to a spokeswomen, Trump consulted with the Office of Government Ethics. Because it would be “unethical” to promote something for her own “private gain” in her now public service capacity (as an official, but unpaid government employee in the White House), she can’t promote the book the way an author normally would.

So she’s sticking to social media, taking to Facebook and Instagram to plug the book.

Meanwhile, according to Entertainment Weekly, the book itself is not garnering particularly good reviews.

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Ballerina Misty Copeland Releases Book

misty-copeland-book-cover-largeMisty Copeland is the first black female ballerina to be named a principal dancer by the American Ballet Theatre. Now she’s adding “author” to her resume.

Copeland has released a new book entitled Ballerina Body, focusing on both the physical and mental strength it takes to better your body in the best way possible. She stresses that it’s not a “dieting” book, instead saying “For me, it was just getting myself into the best shape that it could, but understanding that it’s OK to be different. If you’re talented and gifted enough, it doesn’t matter what you look like.”

It sounds like a mix of self-help, cookbook and memoir. The book includes inspirational words of encouragement, exercises, recipes, and her “secrets” to being strong mentally and physically.

It’s so important for a woman in her position to write a book like this, to inspire girls to care for their bodies the healthy way instead of starving themselves unhealthily, not to mention the volumes it speaks for black girls who may not have ever envisioned a future like Misty Copeland’s.

Get Ballerina Body in hardcover now for $15.59. 

Or on your Kindle for $15.99.

 

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‘Dance Moms’ 13-Year-Old Star To Pen Memoir, Fiction Trilogy

maddie-ziegler-435Some people spend their entire lives writing to pen the perfect book. For Maddie Zeigler, it only took 13  years. But wait. That is her entire life considering the Dance Moms star is just 13  years old.

According to Entertainment Weekly, Zeigler is working on writing both a memoir and a YA trilogy about dance for Gallery Books and Aladdin Books. The Maddie Diaries will reflect on her years starring the Lifetime reality TV show Dance Moms. It will also include advice and lessons for teens and dancers. It’s set to be released in March of 2017.

Her fiction novels will also be about — you guessed it! — young dancers. The novels are set to be released in the Fall 2017, Fall 2018 and Fall 2019.

IMHO, there will always be a market for people who want to read about dancers — whether it’s young people who dream of being professional dancers or those — like me — who used to dance and feel a sense of nostalgia when they read books about it (see Astonish Me).

Zeigler is a famous dancer, best known for Dance Moms and for playing mini-Sia in many of popstar Sia’s music videos and performances. Currently Zeigler is a judge on the kids version of So You Think You Can Dance.

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